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  #831  
Old 02-13-2018, 09:45 PM
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munchlet munchlet is offline
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"Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed." — William Jennings Bryan

agatha on 2010-12-23 14:07:22
Funny

rikabeau on 2011-08-01 14:37:33
Uh... Don't count your chickens until they hatch?

bansaisequoia on 2011-10-06 02:05:34
This maxim is as antediluvian as the natural topographical inclines.

cradle0fmexicans on 2013-01-26 15:32:48
i love sesquipedalians!

wvwoman on 2013-04-05 06:31:17
old, yes, but still good advice!

maradnu on 2013-08-21 23:30:50
Eschew obfuscation.

puzzleme on 2015-08-08 17:53:28
Gesundheit!

Highpoint on 2015-09-02 15:41:33
Isn't "eschew" a dirty word?

montyb on 2015-12-21 11:49:40
Only if you do it with your lips open.

kb83 on 2017-01-23 12:11:53
Refrain from extensive investigation into the dental health of equine property that has been transferred gratuitously to you.

kb83 on 2017-03-14 04:14:35
Refrain from lacrimal demonstrations when confronted with unforeseen dairy overflows.

fishbum on 2017-03-21 07:54:21
Watch out for Athenians with freebies.

kb83 on 2018-01-02 03:39:10
Corrective sewing when done in an expeditious manner, prevents the need for extensive repairs later on.

spacecoyote1966 on 2018-01-09 08:57:50
For what reason did the poultry transverse the thoroughfare?

maradnu on 2018-01-26 13:23:04
I look forward to a day when poultry can cross the road without having its motives questioned.
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  #832  
Old 02-16-2018, 05:06 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"No man is wise enough, nor good enough, to be trusted with unlimited power." — Charles Caleb Colton

killdozer on 2015-12-31 05:32:22
I could handle it. I'd straighten this universe out in an hour. My wife would tell me just what to do.

lainecap on 2016-04-06 15:11:30
That is what our founding fathers thought when they established the constitution.

montyb on 2016-12-07 21:59:22
How could the founding fathers know killdozer's wife?
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  #833  
Old 02-16-2018, 08:59 PM
oddcouple oddcouple is offline
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"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again."
— Dag Hammarskjold

bonsaisequoia on 2009-07-26 20:34:26
The author of this quote is Dag Hammarskjöld.

bansaisequoia on 2009-09-07 18:13:08
Once again, without the diacritic. The author of this quote is Dag Hammarskjold.

jnoodles on 2013-08-10 16:59:47
Dag nab it!!!!

Allen on 2013-12-19 03:20:17
Don’t be so diacritical!

LLapp on 2015-09-24 18:05:34
I love this quote.
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  #834  
Old 02-18-2018, 03:13 PM
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opallady opallady is offline
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"In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you."
— Jack Handey

Lurker on 2009-10-08 00:13:47
Someone beat my time, please! I don't want my name on this one

bansaisequoia on 2009-10-12 23:44:03
Ooooohh, I'm sorry-I just got 18 seconds.

Lurker on 2009-12-20 23:10:35
So what do I do, set a faster time! AAAHH!!

bansaisequoia on 2010-03-01 16:50:02
You put your name on this twice by leaving a comment.

Lurker on 2011-09-18 21:56:09
Good point. Well, if people don't read the comments, they'll just see your name now.

montyb on 2012-01-02 12:40:24
I like reading the comments. But this one doesn't deserve any.

bansaisequoia on 2012-07-08 14:42:21
I don't know. If I were an Olympic judge, I'm not sure I'd count him out. Depends.

montyb on 2012-10-07 19:32:30
That weightlifter would need Depends.

wvwoman on 2012-10-08 03:19:32
what ARE the rules on urination during weightlifting?

puzzleme on 2013-08-17 00:56:45
Depends.

abra on 2013-10-28 11:50:29
Very funny, puzzlemel.

kb83 on 2014-11-25 07:50:07
If done during the "clean and jerk," there are no rules.

Lurker on 2015-02-03 12:52:24
You wouldn't be clean anymore.

LLapp on 2016-01-18 21:47:21
Jerk? Please, urination during weightlifting was bad enough!

wvwoman on 2016-01-29 07:19:39
i was already grinning, reading the comments, but full-on laughed when i got to llapp's!

skeeter on 2017-09-30 13:33:15
Well, there is American weightlifting, and then there is You're-a-Peein' weightlifting.

abra on 2017-12-08 14:26:02
Ha-ha, skeeter.

Persephone59 on 2018-01-13 07:51:42
You have to admit, Handey's face goes perfectly with the stupid things he says.
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  #835  
Old 02-20-2018, 09:47 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions." — Edgar Cayce

Spellbinder44 on 2015-05-08 21:39:52
Whereas Science Fiction is tomorow's answers to today's questions!

darkyr on 2016-05-27 08:45:49
Death is the final buzzer. Please put your pencils down and hand your test papers to the front.

susanith on 2016-10-01 01:23:32
I like this quote.

abra on 2016-10-24 18:34:53
I like darkyr's.
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