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  #191  
Old 05-06-2016, 03:55 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Remember, a chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. "
Brigham Young

dovid1946 on 2015-04-15 09:12:17
and he must have had a lot of wood down below as well. He had a lot of children.

wvwoman on 2015-05-28 19:23:36
geez, dovid.

kb83 on 2015-09-10 07:36:49
And wood is good because .... ?

mikehallbackhoe on 2015-10-30 04:53:54
if you have a chip on your shoulder you might be a blockhead
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  #192  
Old 05-07-2016, 04:43 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Money is the seed of money, and the first guinea is sometimes more difficult to acquire than the second million. "
Jean Jacques Rousseau

skeeter on 2015-07-01 09:43:19
And if your first guinea is a male and your second is a female, soon you will have a wealth of guineas. Oh, wait, that's guinea pigs.

kb83 on 2015-10-13 10:21:30
Is someone who hoards his guineas a guinea pig?
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  #193  
Old 05-07-2016, 09:14 PM
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wvwoman wvwoman is online now
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"For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends."
Robert Brault


Barnabas on 2012-06-09 14:50:32
"Jeffrey, I don't like your friends," said Mrs. Dahmer. "That's okay, Mom. Just eat the vegetables."

gerrissister on 2013-03-23 18:30:50
Ouch!!!!!!!

maradnu on 2013-11-15 08:19:45
I don't eat my friends. I prefer to eat total strangers.
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  #194  
Old 05-08-2016, 12:02 AM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default abra, you made me laugh out loud

"I have scarcely touched the sky and I am made of it." Antonio Porchia




montyb on 2015-05-24 15:50:46

He looks like a little ray of sunshine.

LLapp on 2015-07-31 00:38:59
He looks like his puppy left him for his best friend.

abra on 2016-01-03 14:50:17
...even though he had a pork chop tied around his neck.

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  #195  
Old 05-08-2016, 04:03 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Time is the only critic without ambition. "
John Steinbeck

kjmcaj on 2013-06-06 18:16:12
45 seconds.

oddcouple on 2016-01-02 00:15:30
Of course Time has ambition-to sell magazines.
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  #196  
Old 05-08-2016, 04:07 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. "
Lucille S. Harper

puzzleme on 2013-08-05 01:11:21
Hmmm... never looked at it from quite that angle.

JD_1947 on 2014-11-07 06:40:16
so an egotist goes into a bar and says . . no not another egotist joke . . .

Ian123 on 2014-11-08 17:38:40
He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

LLapp on 2015-01-19 12:22:00
Ha!
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  #197  
Old 05-08-2016, 04:09 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent."
Edmund Burke

montyb on 2014-02-03 10:50:57
OK, I confess. It was I who left the toilet seat up. Sorreeeee!!!

jnoodles on 2014-03-22 13:53:43
wish i'd said that
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  #198  
Old 05-08-2016, 04:27 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius. "
Benjamin Disraeli

dovid1946 on 2014-12-20 03:00:41
Disraeli had a very close relationship with Queen Victoria. When he traveled abroad, she missed him terribly and was known to cry trhoughout the castle- 'Won't you come home, Disraeli, won't you come home'
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  #199  
Old 05-08-2016, 05:16 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"When a man fell into his anecdotage it was a sign for him to retire from the world. "
Benjamin Disraeli

octopunchy on 2012-11-09 15:33:09
That's why I put a fence around my anecdotage...

locodad on 2013-10-29 00:47:24
my anecdotage is bigger than yours.

m1j9s48 on 2014-03-17 12:39:27
What does it look like?I'm getting too old to be falling into my anecdotage.

montyb on 2014-07-06 07:07:09
This reminds me of an anecdote...

jnoodles on 2015-05-15 05:23:43
So long as he doesn't bring up his unclecdotes.

abra on 2015-05-28 10:12:10
I thinkoctopunchy has the right idea. Put a fence around your anecdotage, then you can sit around and tell stories about it.

LLapp on 2016-04-09 11:28:45
"Anecdotage" -- what a great word!
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  #200  
Old 05-08-2016, 08:47 AM
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aerie aerie is offline
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Default a meeting of Steven Wright's fan club...

"I have the world's largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world."
Steven Wright


chriscrojam on 2011-02-25 09:35:55
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright

pootie49 on 2011-05-06 17:37:13
he cracks me up. lol

bgray on 2011-08-20 22:08:38
I saw Steven Wright perform almost 30 years ago, and still remember that evening as one of the funniest of my life!

wvwoman on 2012-11-13 05:58:45
he's a stitch!

Barnabas on 2013-04-27 21:12:40
"I was born caesarian. You can't really tell; except when I leave the house I usually go out the window." - Steven Wright

abra on 2014-07-21 09:05:24
Nothing to do with the quote, but you reminded me of when Adrian Monk said "I was born normally, but I was raised caesarian".

dovid1946 on 2015-04-24 04:12:29
I am trying to figure out why steven Wright is sooo funny, while Jack Handey is sooo unfunny.

JenDiaz72 on 2015-05-12 12:37:46
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright
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